I am a public health midwife (PHM) at the Thamankaduwa MOH office in Polonnaruwa. There was one pregnant mother who disliked my visits to the house. This was because of her father-in-law consuming alcohol and being a nuisance to everyone in the family. I was told how he tends to act violently by attacking the family members and talking in filth.
One morning, I decided to go to this house regardless of the environment that was explained to me. No sooner I entered the house, the mother came to me in tears and told me that the father-in-law was in the house and that he had consumed alcohol. She asked me not to say anything as he was inside. However, I started the conversation pretending not to know that he was there. I asked the mother-in-law as to how their family life was earlier. The mother-in-law too started crying and began to tell me how he used to be loving and caring those days and that this change was due to alcohol. Then I asked them about his behaviours when he sober. Mother-in-law replied saying that all the violent behaviours are as a result of alcohol and that he is very caring when he is sober. Then I asked them how this was possible. Their answer to this was that when he is under the influence of alcohol, he is not aware of his actions. Then I asked them whether he had previously gone to the wrong house under the influence of alcohol or had behaved violently against anyone else except the family members. They replied saying no. Then I explained to them how people drink alcohol and attribute this as the cause for their unacceptable behaviours. I also explained how this is completely false and that consuming alcohol is a characteristic of weak persons. I knew that the father-in-law was listening to me the whole time. But I continued to talk. I told the mother that I will be seeing her in this house hereafter and not elsewhere.
When I went on my visit the following week, I saw the father-in-law in the garden. He greeted me very politely and told me how he had been listening to the whole conversation the previous week. He had agreed to what I said and promised me that he would not hurt anyone hereafter. He mentioned that it will be hard for him to stop drinking. However, he promised not to hurt anyone. He also made it a point to take the TV which he had smashed on the floor previously for repair. I feel that when there is a need to talk, we should talk. This way we can change people at the right time.
